Author Archives: Kodilynn Calhoun

About Kodilynn Calhoun

Kodilynn Calhoun is a proud indie author of YA paranormals. She is a sucker for a good love story and the fantastic: werewolves, shifters, incubi and gargoyles? You name it, she probably writes it! (And hopes you like it!)

An Explanation, An Apology, and Finding Myself Again

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I realize I haven’t said much in the way of blogging–or writing, for that matter–and I felt I needed to come clean to those of you who read my blog and enjoy my books and expect more from me. I wasn’t aware that my “disappearance” was a problem until I found a Facebook message from a Wattpad fan wondering if I was okay, and I felt horrible–I never meant to leave anyone hanging. I’ve just…been going through a lot.

 

So first, I apologize. I haven’t been with it enough to keep updating. I’ve been submerged in depression and just Life In General. The holidays are always a stressful time for me, but all of this…stuff was happening earlier than that, so I can’t blame the time of year. I suffer from anxiety, and on top of that, I’m an extremely sensitive person–too sensitive. I take things too personally and then get myself down. I get overwhelmed easily and my way of escaping? Is to plug into music and blatantly avoid the Big Scary Thing, shut down and just stay far away.

 

And in this case, the issue was writing–and failure.

 

I want to succeed at this “writing thing”. So badly that it hurts. I’ve known I was supposed to be a writer for years…it’s what I’ve always loved to do, to create worlds and spin webs of words and characters and make people fall in love with them. I just have a hard time handling the “other side” of things–the people that *don’t* like my stuff. And that is FINE. People are so different, so complex and wonderful. Nobody HAS to like the same thing. Everyone has opinions. But I tend to take it personal, I think–I believe that they judge me, when in reality? They just didn’t enjoy my book. And it makes me freak out a little bit. Usually I bounce back.

 

But when I’ve lost my zest to even put words down on a page? When I can come up with cute ideas…but don’t know where to even start Chapter One? When I start *having* to write instead of writing because I *love* it? It completely drains me. I announced on both Wattpad and on my blog this summer that I was writing a sequel to Wolfsong–and that’s where I faltered. Because as much as I adore Shae and Aliel and the essence that is Wolfspirit–it’s one of the hardest books I’ve ever written. I started second guessing myself…and my love for writing just went out the window. I struggled for months, trying to make it come out the way I wanted it to.

 

What I have instead of a finished book, is half of a book and my confidence shaken up. So I apologize, but I’ve set it on the shelf. I want to finish it. I just…can’t right now. And that makes me feel like a failure lol.

 

I’ve tried making myself schedules, write x-many words a week, etc. And I just…it’s like pulling teeth to put every word down on the page and then I have to wonder, Do I have what it takes to be an author? God knows I want this, but am *I* a stable enough person to produce books that (some) people will enjoy?

 

I don’t know. And that makes me sad. It makes me scared.

 

I know that, had I this whole “publishing” thing to do over again? I would’ve come at it with a completely different angle. I’ve learned so much from this past year of indie publishing, and I’m glad. I have new ideas on how I want to tackle my next release. But right now?

 

I need a break. I realize that I may be forgotten, as an author, to my readers, but I can’t keep pushing myself to write when I don’t enjoy the craft. So I’m going to take time off and unplug. I’m going to write for me, not for publication. I need to find the love, the passion, and harness it again. I hope to stockpile up some novels to release mid-year. I have several series in my mind, in the works. I just need to find myself to write these books.

 

To everyone who’s read and enjoyed my books–any of them–I thank you. So much. And I hope that when I come back, you’ll continue to read my worlds.

 

I encourage you to “like” my Facebook author page, Kodilynn Calhoun.

This is where I’ll be updating everything from now on. I’m going to turn the website into less of a blog and more of a news slash reader hub. I’m working on making the site more user friendly and more fitting, so it’ll be a work-in-progress.

 

Thank you guys.

 

-Kodi

Sunday Snippet and #ROW80 Check-In

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Hi, folks!

I’ve decided to share snippets of my current WIP on Sundays instead of Saturdays, alongside my ROW80 check ins. I won’t be checking in on Wednesdays, I don’t think; just Sundays for now. We’ll see if I get to the point where I remember to do both :)

So my first snippet is an excerpt from my novel, Wolfspirit, which is book 2 in the Otherside trilogy. This is the first few paragraphs of chapter 1-draft 1.

~~~

You should never hit a pissed off redhead: Sometimes they hit back.

My fist connected with Tate’s nose with a resounding and almost-too-pleasing thwack. Bone cracked and his expression was nearly comical as his hands flew up to staunch the flow of blood that had begun to gush down his face.

Not that this was a laughing matter.

“You bitch.” If looks could kill, I’d be vaporized.

I crossed both arms over my chest, jutting my chin out and glaring at him. I refused to rub the bruise blossoming on my cheekbone. I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing me in pain, even though it smarted. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to hit girls? Oh, wait, that’s right. You probably hit her, too!” The words were acid on my tongue. Tate had always had a rough family life, but I never thought…

His expression turned sharp, but I didn’t give him the chance to say anything. Twisting his class ring off my finger—the promise ring he’d given me almost two years ago, when we decided we were going to get married right out of high school and have a couple kids—I slapped it into his blood-sticky palm.

“I’m done.”

~~~ …dundundun!

I…forgot to blog Sunday. SO. Whoopsie. But I’m back now! :D

Week 1: I kicked butt!

 

Monday: 0 words – Blogged
Tuesday: 2,200 words – Blogged
Wednesday: 1,800 words & critiqued a piece – Blogged
Thursday: 1,000 words.
Friday: 1,300 words.
Saturday: 1,300 words.

Week 2: I sucked LOL!

Sunday: 0
Monday: 1,200 words
Tuesday: 0
Wednesday: 0
Thursday: 0
Friday: 0
Saturday: 1,100 words

To a better week! Aiiiii -warcries…and then falls asleep-

Music Monday

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One of the things I did do during my hiatus was to buy a couple of new CDs to add to my collection, cuz a girl can never have too much music :) So, of course, I have to share some of my favorite songs.

First up, the song 5/6 by Jason Mraz, off his new album Love Is A Four Letter Word. I got the deluxe edition…just because I freakin’ love Jason Mraz and his live songs are typically SO much better than studio, for me, and that’s rare :)

Enjoy!

Summer Sale :)

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On the subject of #ROW80 real quick: I’ll probably just be updating on Sundays. Wednesdays, for me, are fairly forgotten in the midst of the week. Sundays, on the other hand, are my week’s beginning :) But I did manage over 2k yesterday after doing minimal writing for the past two months, so I’m proud.

ANYWAYS! Noticed Smashwords is having a summer sale! So! From now until July 31st, if you buy any of my novels on Smashwords, you’ll be able to enter a coupon code at checkout to get them for half off!

So you can get Wolfsong, Spellbound, and Souljacker each for $1.50 during the month of July :)

Happy reading!

Welcome To The Otherside…

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So, Wolfsong’s had a long life. From being created from the depths of my teenage brain in 2005, to a full-scale rewrite in 2011, to publication that same year, this novel’s been with me a long time. When I first wrote it, I’d planned on a sequel focusing on Kia’s future children, set apart from the first book but still connected. I never wrote it. I gave up writing for awhile, but when I came back, I didn’t want the “stale” old idea, I wanted something new and shiny. So Wolfsong #2 became put on hold. With each book over the years, I learned, with each book I grew. I’m a completely different writer than the girl I was in 2005. Even now, the Wolfsong everyone can read is hugely different than the first one I wrote. I guess we both grew up.

Anyway. After 2011′s rewrite, I pondered a trilogy. I loved the cast of characters and the world, so I thought about it long and hard. And decided that the story I was meant to tell–Kia and Arii’s story–could really go no further. Part of it, admittedly, was the fact that I’ve always thought of myself as a ‘stand-alone’ novel person vs. a ‘series’ person and that by admitting I could and would do a series? That scared me.

In March of 2012, Wolfsong went live on Wattpad, part of their Writer’s Partnership Program. And with every day, the amount of reads, comments, and fans went up–and they all agreed on one thing: They wanted a sequel.

Cue panic.

My knee jerk reaction was no: I’d told Kia and Arii’s story the way it felt it needed to be told. Sure, I had a couple of ideas for a second book…but I didn’t feel qualified. The whole “not a series person” hit me hard. The “what ifs” tried to take over.

It took a bit of poking and prodding from some of my closest friends (as well as most, if not all, of my fans <3). But I’ve decided on three books: The Otherside Trilogy. Instead of following the same main characters for each book, I’m breaking away from the norm. I’m staying in Wolfsong’s world, but switching it up. Wolfspirit, which is Otherside #2, will be Kia’s sister Shae’s novel. The third is undecided as of yet.

I’ll have a page when I come up with the summary and will cover-reveal when I have the page :) But I’m writing again! Just thought you all should know :)

It’s That Time Again — #ROW80 Round 3 Goals

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AKA: Yeah, I know I failed at this last year, but I have to try again.

See, I have an issue with commitment. I don’t like change–and that’s part of being a writer. I need to learn to cope with it, roll with it. You name it, I need to adapt. Sure, I can write. Sometimes my words are even beautiful, crazy things… But when I’ve spent the last three months letting FEAR get in the way of everything (my blog, my writing, everything…) something’s wrong. I know it’s easy to just ignore the problem and hope it goes away by avoiding it. But it’s not going to get my anywhere.

I didn’t expect to ever be afraid of writing. I don’t know if it’s actual fear of the writing itself, but it’s definitely fear. Of success? Of failure? Both? I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m lingering, hoping something will change, but I’m not doing anything about it. So it’s time to be proactive. I am a writer–I need to write. /end ramble.

Here are my #ROW80 Goals. These will be both writing and promoting related.

1) Post at least twice a week on the blog AND reply to all comments.
I’m horrible at this and I apologize; this is a very scary thing for me. I feel very…socially inept and I like to hide my head in the sand. I’m working on this.

2) Get reintroduced to Twitter and start participating more.
Again, comfort-zone issue. I was the same way with Facebook, but I’m doing better on that, just because I’ve forced myself to log in and piddle every single day! Now I find FB more of an amusement than an annoyance and hopefully I can fall back in love with Twitter again!

3) Buckle down and write 1,200 words MINIMUM a day.
My goal is to write at least a scene a day on my WIP Wolfspirit (which I’ll be blogging about here soon!) and then, at the end of the day, if I pass my minimum, I’ll allow myself some free-writing words on my adult romance project, which is my fun!WIP.

If I find need to change my goals, I’ll re-evaluate and update :) Also, I’ll probably only be checking in once a week, just because…I forget things. I’m so ADD sometimes, lol! But I’m going to set a timer on my phone to remind me :P

Now Available: Souljacker

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Here’s the official announcement–forgive me, as it’s a tad late. Souljacker has been out for about a week now, but I’ve been busy eating up the words to my new project, which I’ll be posting about soon :)

So here we go!

Now Available: Souljacker (YA Science-Fantasy Romance) - $2.99

Only one more year until she’s 18, then Lucifer Swift can start a new life, one not filled with loveless foster homes and whispered rumors—painful reminders of her past. She knows she’ll never outrun her Need, the monster inside of her that can suck the life force out of someone with just a touch, but she can sure as hell try. Nothing holds her here. She has no family, no friends, nothing.

Until she meets him.

Iofiel is a Cyberhound—a dark Faerie creation who can shift from man to canine and back again in the blink of an eye. Pack law denies him the right to love, but Iofiel can’t suppress his want. And he wants what he can’t have: A certain girl with haunted blue eyes, a girl with secrets darker than his…

Now available at: Smashwords, Amazon, Amazon UK, Amazon DE, and Barnes & Noble.

Paperback coming fall 2012!

Read the first two chapters here!

I really hope you enjoy it :D
~Kodi

R is for Randomosity…and Reese’s Puffs

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So. Tonight I was going to make chicken parm. I gathered a pan to bake the chicken and a pot to make the pasta…

And then I decided I was too lazy. And it would be like, 11pm before I got to eat.

I look over.

:0

The box of Reese’s Puffs is staring at me…

I decided they would be tasty.

They were.

But now the roof of my mouth is sore LOL

/end story.

:D

Q is for Queer/LBGTQ Themes

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I don’t know if this post is proper, or whatever, but when it came to Q, I immediately knew what to blog about. I’ve always been a very open person, probably because my mom was so accepting of everything. I support gay rights/marriage, though I’m not an activist or anything. It’s just something I agree with.

Love is love is love; gender, race, and color shouldn’t matter. Everyone has their opinions and beliefs–and that’s mine.

Some of my favorite books deal with LBGTQ characters/themes: Julie Ann Peters’s books are fantastic, my favorite being Keeping You A Secret with Luna being a close second. Then of course there’s Will Grayson, Will Grayson, by John Green and David Levithan, which is amazing and beautiful and made me laugh out loud and almost cry.

Likewise, I tend to write similar themes in my own novels; it happens during the writing process–the characters decide for themselves and no amount of straining will change their minds. Greyson from Wolfsong burst into that first scene, loud and clear, and there was no doubt he was gay. My upcoming science-fantasy novel, Souljacker, also has LBGTQ side characters. I have a couple of future novellas that star gay and lesbian leads.

The way I see it: I haven’t read or heard of many YA fantasy/paranormal books with gay leads. Every book I’ve read with gay leads has been contemporary YA with coming-out as a plot device. Doesn’t anyone think LBGTQ teens want to read fantasy with characters and couples like them?

The Nightshade trilogy by Andrea Cremer, one of her side-couples is gay and just adorable. I’ve heard that Malinda Lo’s novels, Ash and Huntress, are YA LBGTQ fantasy (though I’ve yet to read them, they’re on my to-read list!).

But yeah :) I understand that my books with queer characters/themes might not be as well-received as my straight novels, but that’s okay. I love them and write them in hopes they’ll reach who they need to reach, gay or straight.

Any favorite YA LBGTQ books? Indie or traditionally published works!

 

P is for Plotter

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When it comes to the question: Plotter or Pantser, I’ve always plotted, in a sense. When I was younger, I’d play-act out the scenes of a book before bed, sometimes multiple times in different characters’ eyes, so I got it right. Most of these stories never got written LOL but that’s okay. I feel every story, even unwritten, helped build me into the writer I am today.

Not to say I’ve never pantsed (aka: writing by the seat of my pants, for all you non-writers out there :D ) a novel; I have. Well…somewhat. Most of my NaNoWroMo novels have been pantsed (and failed!). With me, instead of freeing me up? I get anxious when I don’t know what happens next; I bite my nails, I squirm in my seat. I get blocked. I -need- to know what happens at least one scene ahead of where I am. Right. Now.

With Spellbound, I was frustrated and needed something -new- to write. Wylde came to my mind, fiery and free, and she and Kascien took turns painting scenes. I pantsed 20-25k. Panicked. Calmed down. Plotted it out, scene by scene for the next 10 scenes. Ended up giving up at 40k. Picked it back up a year later and decided I was going to finish it!

My saving grace were those plotted scenes, the crucial next steps in the story, because I’d forgotten most of it. Of course, I never plotted the ending, but my previous outline was enough to help me plot the rest of it. And voila! A book was born.

So for me, I guess I prefer to pants the first few scenes, get a feel for the characters, and then plot the rest of it out according to what I’ve learned. The first part of the book is both scary and exhilarating. The second half I have to be dedicated because, I’ll admit, once I know the story, it’s hard for me to want to finish it. xD But I do.

Writers: Are you plotters or pantsers or a little of both? :)